Weakness like the enemy, once it see a hole in your soul it go through it and spread allover your body, may be it can reach a state that is uncontrollable. Sorrow,loneliness, depression are bubbles that encapsulate who allow this enemy to reach his heart. You might think that be in another and different situation will hold the solution to all your problems it may be right but I believe that the well state of emotional and body health is relying on you only no thing can harm you or motivate you with out your permission and it is a sort of divine justice. By knowing all of these facts why I carry a burden on my shoulder? why I don’t allow my self to go with the flaw? Why I don’t find my self?………………..
May be it’s the way that my heart want to speak to me that he can’t withstand being far from God any more or it is the alarm from my soul that going with the flaw will not give me the sense of satisfaction I need or my soul don’t want to let go the things it holds.My inner condition is like a war between my soul that doesn’t want to go with the flaw and the the powerful impact of the circumstances on one’s emotions. All of these ideas take me to the fact of “the one who find Allah (the god)what he might lose and the one who Lose Allah what he will gain ” it speak about put our focus on pleasing Allah by our deeds all of our deeds are only for him. This journey to the depth of my soul enlighten me more, give me the hope and make me much better in recognizing who I am. I’m still strong I will run till my heart will be satisfied
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o or what i wanna to be in my life ,one of those things is to reach 20 years .Now i reach beyond that age i have now 25 years old and it seems that i do not know ,just do not know the things i know before about my self as i see my self goes in different ways i would never go through before and i do not know what i want to do it is a hard question for me now but time fade out and will not wait for me to understand what is my role in life? . The other thing i have is i carry a big fear from living alone this is from my deep inside ,there is no one from my near circle know that about me i hide it even through my trials to escape from all who surrounded me it is obvious for them that i love to be alone .Again i have to search for answers to my question and face my fears,my mind never stop from bothering me all the time but let my mind stop thinking or i have to think in another direction.Yes i have to have an answer to my question of why am i here?what is my role in life?but may be the answer present in the silence between the crowded thoughts in my mind , calm down and try to open my eyes and see the world around me how everything work in a smooth way .In the silence every thing is done perfectly and reach their goal may be by this way things happen .I have not to carry these fears any more i will never be alone Allah the Exalted Said “he is with you wherever you are “, in this life i will see doors closes in front of my eyes but in the other side there are several doors open wait for me to have the courage and go through it . the chances in the life never quit until i quit and through it i will be in my way to my goal THE DESTINY